The Lonely Wife: 13 Ways to Thrive During Seasons of Loneliness

Be sure to remind yourself often that just as summer gives way to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring, and spring back to summer, seasons in life are just that: seasonal. While some seasons may seem like they will last forever, the reality of seasons is that they pass and change and at some point they come to an end. 

2. Journal your prayers & pray for your husband. 

Have you ever journaled your prayers? Try this: jot down your prayers on the left-hand side of a journal and leave the right-hand page blank. As God answers your prayers—whether His answers are yes, no, or maybe—make a note in your journal of God’s answer to each prayer. Keeping a prayer journal is not only a great way to encourage a regular prayer life, but it’s also an incredibly powerful way to see God’s hand in your life. 

3. Start (or join) a Bible study.

If you’re looking for a wonderful women’s Bible study, check out The Cry of the Hidden Heart by Hidden Heart Ministries. Whether you choose to complete this Bible study on your own, with a small group of friends around a kitchen table (how this study originally began), or with a larger group of wives of all ages, The Cry of the Hidden Heart is an incredible study that not only gets to the heart of what Scripture says about marriage but also encourages women in their vocation of wife. 

If paying a babysitter every week for you to be able to attend Bible study isn’t something you can (or want to) do, get creative. Check out idea no. 5 below, ask your church youth director if any of the youth need volunteer hours, or if your kids go to bed early, offer to host the Bible study at your home later in the evening. 

4. Enjoy time away from the house.

For women whose husbands’ jobs require out-of-town travel, the nights and weekends can be the hardest. While catching up on housework, going to bed as soon as the kids go down, trying to get past page 8 in that book on your nightstand, or enjoying a Netflix binge session are all go-to options for passing the time at night, consider planning an occasional night out—something you can look forward to. Whether your plans include a night out with a friend or a solo trip to the movies, enjoy time away from the house. Go see that movie you’ve been waiting to be released, get your nails done, take that book that’s earmarked on page 8 and enjoy your favorite drink at your local coffee shop, go for an extra long run, or savor that delicious dessert you’ve been craving. Whatever your budget and schedule allows for, set aside some time to get away from the house and recharge.

5. Create a babysitting co-op. 

Whether you have one child or many children, babysitting fees can add up quick and are often the deciding factor of whether moms get out of the house or develop cabin fever. If you have friends in a similar life stage, perhaps they might be interested in creating a babysitting co-op. For example, once a month, one friend agrees to watch all the kiddos while all the other moms are free to enjoy the time off. Next month, another friend invites all the children over to her home for the evening or afternoon. This way, the babysitting fees don’t add up and you have several free nights a year (or month, depending on how you set it up)! 

6. Journal or write letters to your husband.

If you feel like your husband is missing out on a lot that’s going on at home, buy a journal, dedicate it to him, and journal things throughout the day, week, and month that you want him to know. If you are extra ambitious, include some photographs to go along with your entries. Or, if journaling on a regular basis is not your thing, write your husband letters or notes and slip them into his suitcase along with a photo or two of you and the kids. When he arrives at his hotel and unzips his suitcase, he’ll be sure to appreciate the surprise and a bit of home. Remember: as much as you might be missing him, he’s most likely wishing he was at home too.  

7. Join the YMCA (or a local gym).

The YMCA with its complimentary childcare is a go-to destination for many parents with young children. The benefits of joining the Y are exponential: exercise for you (yay, endorphins!), the kiddos get to socialize with other kids, you get time away from the house, and the kids are tired when they get home. Perhaps the monthly fees might seem high, but the benefits of a membership might outweigh the expense. If so, it might be time to make room in the budget for a membership.  

8. Frequent your local library.

Many libraries offer programs and events for children and adults, as well as volunteer opportunities—not to mention free movie and audio book rentals. Take some time to explore your local library and discover opportunities awaiting you and your family.

9. Take a mini vacation or plan a staycation.

If you always go on trips as a family, it might seem overwhelming or unfair to venture out without your husband. But chat with your husband and decide together if a mini vacation for you and the kids is something your schedule and budget allows. If so, then have fun with this! Whether you choose to take the kids camping, to visit Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend, or to board a plane and head across the country, enjoy the time away, make wonderful memories, and try new experiences. 

If your budget or mental or emotional capacity doesn’t allow for travel, plan a staycation with your children, letting them pick from a list you create of local destinations or activities tourists would do if they were to visit your area. Every day for a week or a long weekend, turn “staying at home” to an adventurous “staycation”! 

10. Volunteer.

What opportunities are there for you—or you and your kids—to serve in your community or church? Perhaps an elderly neighbor would enjoy a hot meal once a week or a plate of fresh baked goods once a month. Or perhaps they would simply enjoy your company. Maybe your church is in need of volunteers for an upcoming event. Whatever you choose, spend time pouring into others.

11. Turn “someday” into “today.”

What have you always wanted to do, learn, or try that you’ve relegated to “someday”? Turn “someday” into “today” and sign up for a class that teaches you a new skill, start a new hobby, or get that house project off that ground you’ve always been wanting to get done.  

12. Organize a family yearbook.

Once a month, download the photos from your phone and organize them on your computer or hard drive. Select your favorite photos and put them in a special folder for that month. Then, at the end of the year, you will have all your favorite family photos in one handy location and organized. You’ll be all set to make a special yearbook! Check out Blurb.com for some great ideas on how to make a family photo book. To make this a family friendly activity, ask your kids to pick out their favorite photos and make notes of why they love particular photos.  

13. Plan a couple’s vacation.

If your husband is about to enter a particularly busy work season that will last several weeks, months, or perhaps more than a year, plan a couple’s vacation that you can take shortly after his busy season ends. Don’t let this trip take the place of spending quality time together when possible during the months leading up to your vacation, but having something special to look forward to might help make there feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!